politics

Wow an interesting start to the DNC.. I kind of expected it. As a former Bernie supporter, I am sad... We all knew it, but having this to confirm it just makes it harder. Along with this, as well as the VP choice for Hillary, it just almost feels like they don't want my vote. They aren't listening to the Bernie supporters... I've been saying for awhile, Bernie just saying "Get behind Clinton" will not be enough for many supporters... There are other options other than the 2 parties. It's difficult because the stakes are high... Third parties have been blamed for the loss of numerous elections, and there is that concern... But what do people do when it feels like their views and thoughts are not even considered? I totally understand if you disagree with me, but i just had to get it out there. sigh... Unless they make Bernie a huge part of the campaign and hopefully a good spot inside her inner circle, I will most likely have to vote my conscience and go third party.

Judgement

We all do it. No one is innocent in this. We try, oh my goodness, do we try, but it's very difficult to be objective and observant without forming a critical opinion ever. We can be good about it at times, but I just think we all fall short. It's something I am all too aware of in me. I work on it regularly, but still fall short. This is human. Learning and bettering ourselves and sometimes failing.

One reason I have difficulty with the Christian religion and the subsets within it is judgement. Everyone seems to think they know what is best for our soul. We are supposed to all be placed within the same box and flourish. I will say in complete disclosure that I do believe in God. I believe in Jesus, but I work on an openness of spirit and utilize some Buddhist philosophies to grow in spirit. I feel like there are many ways we can flourish and still be within the beliefs of spirit and even in Christianity, if that is our choice.

I have been reading or watching videos, especially those talking about how some feel ostracized by the way Christianity (specific religious sects in mind) can be used to make some, spefically those in the LGBT community, to feel wrong, lost, and just in general not a part of God's plan. I have trsugged with this in a very strong way. My heart breaks for those who feel like they are not enough. I too have felt that in numerous religions for different reasons...

My thoughts are with those who find themselves in these situations. If we make a choice to be in the light, all are welcome. It's not a requirement of course. I find it can be a harder road, but it's not wrong. It may be where that person needs to be. We all have our roads and our thought processes to build upon, and who am i to think i know the right one? but, boy is that hard to remember sometimes.

To those who feel in such a dark place that they feel that the end of your life is inevitable, i may not know you, but i send love, light and prayers to you. You are loved and are cared for, even though you may not feel it. My heart breaks that you find yourself in this situation. Sometimes one foot in front of the other is all we can do. This life can be cruel, strange, difficult beyond all belief. Know that there is good here. Know that there is a reason for living. I don't know what it may be for you, but I know there is one.

May you be well, dear readers.

Fathers Day

I've had some rough Father's days in my time... My father died 16 years ago, just days after my second son was born. The pain for anyone is insurmountable... In ways, it broke me. I had such a brittle emotional foundation, that's taken years to build... and constantly still 8). It's hard not to hold onto the pain, which in a sense is my journey, most of our journeys, I think. Fathers day with no one there, just spending it alone can be terrible...

In years that I was single, my older boys usually spent it with their dad. So i would be alone, and sometimes that was good so I could just cry and cry, but sometimes it was just so lonely and I missed them and everyone so much more.

Today it was me and my 7 year old, because my husband's work made him work all day, and they gave the night off to a bunch of non-fathers (don't get me started). Our kiddo and me woke up early to make breakfast, and that was amazingly fun. I wanted to make sure they had some time together on this day. It was harder functioning today than it sometimes is. Just moving one step at a time and being happy and thankful for the time with my youngest was the best course of action 8) And it worked, but i had to fight tears hard today, harder than in awhile. And not the dainty tears, the horrible crying that just won't let up. Ugh. I'm so sad. This too shall pass.

It doesn't always get easier every year with grief, dear friends. It's a moving, ebbing and flowing force around us. We can control how we handle it, but it just comes and goes.

Life will go on and it will be ok. Just one moment at a time 8)

Be well, dear readers! (all 3 of you 8D)

The Messenger

I used to speak in song so much... I do so less, now that I find more happiness in life. Though there is that occasional song that just stops you in your tracks. It opens you up to feeling those very things you need to feel. This is a departure from everything most people think Linkin Park is, but I have to tell you, this song gives me so much peace. I thought I might share it with you, dear ones. Be well, my dear readers. all 3 of you 8D

                                       "The Messenger" by Linkin Park

When you feel you're alone
Cut off from this cruel world
Your instinct's telling you to run

Listen to your heart
Those angel voices
They'll sing to you
They'll be your guide
Back home

When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
It keeps us kind

When you've suffered enough
And your spirit is breaking
You're growing desperate from the fight

Remember you're loved
And you always will be
This melody will bring you right
Back home

When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind
When life leaves us blind
Love keeps us kind

Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhhh!
Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhhh!
Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhhh!

Looking for ways to help..

I want to help so much... and i'm only able to do so much... So I really have to be careful in what I do and what I commit to... There's only so much time and energy...

So I will do what I can...

I need to do this for myself and for others in this situation. It can be super hard to find Type 1 diabetes information, especially not just centered towards children. I really feel led to find a way to bridge this gap for children who grow up to be adults with T1D and also adults that find themselves diagnosed in adulthood. (I was 34, I know crazy, right?) But this is so much more common than you might think...

There is information out there. It's just finding it 8).

I have the unique position of being diagnosed with two diseases associated with childhood, but was diagnosed in adulthood... (Epilepsy and T1D).

I plan on starting another blog... I know, I know... It's not much, but maybe that will help. Help me and even if it helps one person, that would be amazing!!

Love and Light,
Holly

Spirituality

It can be easy for me not to nourish the spiritual side of myself to the point that is wise... I do, and then sometimes, I just cruise and forget a bit... I think that can be human. We are trying to go back to church... All because our sweet 7 year old said we needed to... And that service was truly one of the most impactful of my life.

It helps and the strength within is just something I can't put into words. 8)


I can't promise we'll be there every week, but be there we will 8D.

Perspective

Perspective is a huge word. Wow, everyone has something going on. We all are human. We all hurt. We all ache. We all love.

We all have a journey. We all have pain we are working to overcome.

No matter how bad our situation is, there are others that are going through worse.

Constantly, I have challenges from life, God, Spirit, however you might characterize it. I will ask what do I work on next, I will get a sense of what to do and continue to work on it. It may be to smile more. It may be to observe my dealings with others rather than reacting. It could be anything. It may be different challenges that build upon one another or I might be jumping around. This is how I heal, how I learn, how I become a better me.

This week has been very intriguing. I have had a bad week healthwise. And I'm having trouble hiding it. I push myself to all extents and I just didn't have it anymore and several saw it. It's one thing for my family members to know some of the limits of this, but when it's pretty bad, things get harder. Tempers flare, frustration ensues, and that's for everyone. Perspective is very deep in this part in that we all are coming from somewhere, but we have to find out where. Our reactions are a road map to the problems, to the pain sometimes. It can be pain from many years ago or from yesterday. Healing those pains in ourself help us to react less to others pain.

I've been opening myself up to this lesson and something unexpected happened. There are those times when people you know have scary situations you never knew about. I feel thankful for what i do have. I am sad they are going through all they are going through.

And this leads us to a lesson for me this week. There's a friendly acquaintance of mine that i ran into twice this week. The first time was no biggie, but a bit unusual. believe it or not, i just don't run into people that much around here. I'll say that and then there will be a huge deluge. And that would be fine 8). We saw a sign for a garage sale with something at the bottom that indicated it was to raise money for a certain disorder. Being that someone in our family has the disorder, we went there and I was surprised to see it was her. The family member affected by this disorder talked with her and she felt really helpless before, so that was good. In addition, she shared a little more of what was going on and it just opened my eyes in a different way. We all need to help each other. But there's that line that we have to help ourselves and everyone has crap to go through (maybe i'm using the word crap because it's literal right now since our toilets are backed up again). But the thing is there is so much to deal with. And this dance of learning and growing and healing is what we call living.

As i am trying to open up to others about my trials, it helps to see someone else do so. It gives me strength. As we ebb and flow in this ocean we call humanity, there is peace and strength in numbers. There is peace in us, sometimes it only is here when we are all working together. That is a very comforting thought.

Reading, New Years Resolutions, etc

Well, I actually have (sort of) kept my New Years resolution so far...

I want to read 1 book per month.

I will start with a little aside... I have finished maybe 3 books in the last 18 months, since the Epilepsy diagnosis. My brain can be mush, so I forget a lot. I'm embarrassed by that, but it's also a fact. I can work with this. I can do this 8)

Soooo, I have been working on it, but didn't quite make it... So I read a comic book Saturday, lol... It was the first one of the Star Wars comics released early last year.

But, I did finish The Dance of Anger by Harriet Goldhor Lerner today. It's about how to observe our actions and how to see that anger is a road map for what we need to heal in ourselves. It really focuses on conflict and how our responsibility for our decisions is paramount. Anger is not a bad thing, but it can be more of a tool to help us be better and heal. I can't tell you how empowering this book has been. I bought it years ago, but wasn't quite ready for it... That's true with so much, I suppose 8)

I'm working on PS I Love you by Cecelia Ahern for February. This movie came to me at such a low time in my life. Though it was sad (in a sense, downright depressing), it gave me so much clarity for that time... What is true about everything is we are constantly peeling layers to deal with our past, our biology, our humanity, and everything else. Sometimes, it feels like we revisit the same lessons, but honestly, I think we get a little deeper everytime we revisit... That spirical motion is really how life is, as it is anything but linear. When I found this movie years ago (I saw it at the dollar theater alone), I feel it helped me continue to grow and make some huge changes in my life. I realized then and there how much I put into the thought of love for another that I had missed the love in and for me. I was able to gather the strength to realize I needed to let go of an unrequited love, but honestly it helped me with seeing more about the acceptance I wanted in many of my relationships, and how I had to better fill that for myself.  My thoughts on love, on life, were even more obscure. I was trying to put myself into a mold that just didn't fit to be the "right person" for someone else... I had done that before and it didn't work so well (ended in divorce). I was able to get so much out of that movie. The book is good, but since it is quite a bit different, it's a bit difficult to not feel let down by it so far, though it is a wonderful book so far in its' own right.

Update - It looks like I will finish PS I Love you tonight. over 500 pages in a day. It has been awhile since I've finished a book that quickly 8) I love the differences of this book versus the movie. Her interactions with her family are especially interesting, but after reading the Anger book, I see conflictual triangles in her life as well. But I thoroughly recommend it.

So here is my reading goal. I hope to stick with it!!

Life is hard

So much pain, so much heartache.
There is so much to deal with.
And the truth is -- there's a reason for this.
Life is hard.

It rolls on, even as we writhe in pain.
We hurt and ache and wonder why no one notices.
So often, friend, they do.
Unfortunately, we all have our pain to deal with...

I think that's hard for me sometimes. It's so hard to remember that.

Lately, I'm wondering how to keep on going while being cheerful at all times.
It seems to be too much.
And the truth is, we just can't always be happy...
We have to acknowledge our pain.
We must admit our fears.
This is so hard for many of us, myself included.

I do not even pretend to be perfect.
I'm learning every day.
Just like you, I fail and I work on it again for next time.
Sometimes I fail. Sometimes I succeed.
I am thankful for another day to keep trying.

Believe

So much pain is around us.
It's everywhere. We all have it.
No one is immune to bad things in life.
Sometimes, it feels like we're knee deep in the river or even drowning.
What do we do?
How do we cope?

There are so many answers to this question.
Everyone will have a different response.
Different times, we need to heal in different ways.
Some ways of coping are more effective.

What does your spirit need?
That can be such a tough question to answer...
Why? Because we often dont know.
Our hearts and souls are protected by anger and fear.
I realize my way of protecting myself is not healthy.


My spirit is restored by painting,
by feeling the paint on my fingers.
By healing as I create beauty.

Every breath is a blessing.
Every thought is a blessing.
Every chance to heal, even when we're hurt is a true opportunity to greatness.

8)

Peace and Light dear readers

Thankful 12/29/2015

Gratitude -- I work on having a gratitude journal, somewhere, different depending on my subject matter. I admit, I have been terrible about doing this everyday. I see my daily reminder, and think, "Oh, yeah, that!" and promptly forget 8)

Well, as we close the end of this year, I have so many thoughts, prayers, thankfulness, and hope all at once.

1. I am thankful for perspective. I have been reading "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Goldhor Lerner and I find this book very inspiring. It speaks to how women constantly sacrifice and then the anger rears its ugly head in a negative way because feelings aren't admitted and worked on. I do find this isn't just for women, but it's partially tailored toward the place women have in this society, but again, i think this could be helpful for a lot of people. We all can learn so much and I am no exception. I am responsible for my reactions, for the way my brain processes. It sometimes feels so overwhelming, but it's amazing to have opportunity to be better.

2. I am thankful for more answers regarding my epilepsy by the end of this year. Though I found some things that are strange or odd, I know answers are good and we will slay this dragon!!

3. I am super thankful for my amazing family. These eclectic people may all not be related to me, but they are family just the same.

4. I am thankful for the safety of those who have made it through the North Texas tornadoes. We don't always think about the devastation until it's nearby... The loss of life and the loss of so many homes is just surreal. There's so much coverage on most of it, so that is a big reason why too. My heart goes out to all of the lost fur babies as well 8(

5. I am thankful to be able to grow, to heal, to learn who I am, who I can be. I am thankful for these opportunities!!

Be well, friend. Take care of yourself in this new year and be well.

Love and light.

Peace

Where do we go when peace is so fleeting?

What do we do when the world feels upside down?

How do we cope when there is a torrential downpour in our lives, and we're bailing the water out of our boat with a teaspoon?

I know I could give so many answers here, I could give the ones we hear in Sunday school that can get us through to a point.

I could also give answers looking at the positive...

I could give the answers that love gets us through everything

There are so many ways to answer those questions.

I think there are different answers for different times.

I know that God gives us strength. He helps us through these dark times.

After all, peace is not the lack of hard times. It's the strength and the hope and the love around us that gives us the strength to persevere. There are so many elements that mix up to become a better potion to handle what we all go through -- life. I was reminded in a very poignant post on Facebook that we are always taught and told to only stay in the light, to not allow the other half of us to be shown. Our whole self needs to be involved in living. That balance, that peace of allowing our whole selves to be loved by all who know us is more important than any other thought I could give you.

I have some beliefs that are considered New Age. (I'm a Christian who feels like there is not just one religion or one way to believe in Christ. ) So many well meaning people will tell me not to dwell on any negative aspect of my disease, to not dwell on any negative at all. The issue with that is this is my life, our lives and our struggles need not be ignored. Being positive and strong does not mean in any way that we can't admit what's happening to our lives, to our bodies. I find when I am trying to just be strong and ignore every concern, every symptom, I do worse. My hurt, my fear, my anger, they all have to go somewhere. When I was reading one of Barry Neal Kaufman's books, he mentioned to embrace those illnesses, those trials that are happening to us. Talk to it, embrace it, be friends with it... I think I spend so much time fighting what is in my body, I am using so much energy in fighting what I cannot control, I can just let go. I can just let go of what I can't control, which is the trick to knowing that at this time, I cannot change my epilepsy.  that energy, that beautiful, fiery energy that I have been trying to hide can be used to work on healing in other ways.

I have been so emotional lately. Tears just well up all the time. I'm a bit tired of it, but I've missed it. I have compartmentalized so much emotion, dealing with what I can when I can... But the truth is, I do better when I embrace the pain, when I am with the journey, and not fighting the current of the river. Should I fight this disease? Of course!!! Absolutely!! This thing will not take me!!! I will do everything I can to help find a cure, to heal my heart that just doesn't seem to heal sometimes.

In regards to love, Love helps so much. Support helps so much. What I found though, what is so important, dear reader, if you do not have a good support system is to keep the following in mind. No matter how much love is around you, if you don't love yourself, it will not be enough. Sometimes, even with family, those critical, scary moments you have to endure and or fight, it all starts with you... Is it good to have a positive attitude? Of course!!!! Is it important to understand that just ignoring the negative doesn't mean it will go away? that's critical. It's important to handle your hurt. You have to acknowledge your pain and heal each individual wound. It will take a lifetime as there can be a lot of pain. Choosing not to be angry about the little things (and the things you can control) is paramount and a battle i have frequently, but knowing that difference, that's the key... That's not easy.

This ride, this life, is a beautiful, crazy, wacky thing... And I am glad to be here. 8)

Sincerely,
Intelligent Airhead

Thankfulness 8/20/2015

1. I'm thankful for rest, for good thoughts and for peace... So much good and so much positive energy to tap into... I just have to do that!

2. So many future endeavors are on the brink of getting going... So much to look forward to in our lives. So much to be thankful for in every moment and I am thankful for that thought process...

3. We had meet the teacher night for K!!! That was really exciting. I hope it will be another wonderful year for all 3 boys! Can't believe summer is almost over!

4. Less seizures today, so less of seizing the day, so that's good!!!

5. more answers and so much is coming together. I'm very thankful for all of that.

Gratitude

I used to have a gratitude journal, back when Oprah made it popular... I think it's really important for me to take that up again... Will this always be here? No... Though I cherish you, dear reader(s) as the case may be 8), some are for only me and will be elsewhere.

Yesterday:

I am thankful:
1. we got to go to the Rangers game. I got to see my oldest child smile from ear to ear for 3 hours... he loved it!!! He was so into it!!! I see my dad in both my boys in different ways, but sports and his daughters was the main thing that made my dad laugh or cry... And my oldest's is classical music, an orchestral instrument, and certain sports.  8) The younger boys enjoyed it too, though baseball has its' slow parts.
2. things did not go as planned. We were too late to walk on the field prior to the game, so we ran around the bases afterwards... Having been a Texas Rangers fan all my life (my dad and I shared watching the games on tv, as we actually seldom went together...), I was moved to tears by walking over home plate... As silly as that is, it was beautiful. And to think we wouldn't have done that if we weren't trying to keep a promise to our youngest (the older boys weren't too worried about it, but they loved it too...) as a planner, and a "distressed one when it doesn't all go as perceived", this is a beautiful lesson to remember.
3. Though it can be a bit stressful, as the boys can be brother-like, there is beauty in their interactions in learning how to be adults... I was reading the other day about how we aren't raising children. We are raising adults... and we are teaching our kids how to act like adults... It helps me to parent differently and there is a blessing in that change of perspective.
4. the family I married into 8). Having had a disfunctional family in my childhood and in part of my adult life, i have idealized the functional family... I actually think this is pretty common from what i've read... There is no such thing as perfection... I am good enough to be in this family, even though I feel imperfect and not good enough sometimes...
5. teamwork, ah the examples on a ball field, in a family, in one's body as living is just an example of how every bodily system works together... It's a beautiful things to contemplate!

That's it for today!!!! More tomorrow, or next week, or next month or next year as it usually goes!!

Wow, time flies!!!

It's so amazing to me, how quickly time flies. It's so amazing, how we blink and we can miss so much. I am forever thankful for my wonderful family. Sometimes life seems so tough... Then there's that wake up call... That moment you realize how much more pain others are in. You see others' paths and how tough it is. And there's that aha moment where I realize I can do so much through Christ, through Spirit... It might be a slow path, it might be crazy path, but this crazy life is the most amazing ride ever. It's fun, crazy, sad, messy, but ultimately, I wouldn't have it any other way. Well less of the sad, messy, but you know that's part of it as well...

Those valleys, those scary, treacherous valleys help our hearts prepare for the mountains. Bad things happen to everyone, but it's how we handle it, it's how we allow others to help us handle it.

If you are having a hard time, please let me say, I am with you... You are loved and it will be ok... Maybe not terrific, but you will get through.

((((HUG))))

Love is beautiful. It heals us and keeps our souls together in the fury of each storm. It's so difficult to see this when you don't feel loved. Start with a small spark. Love that person in the mirror, and it suddenly gets a bit easier. It takes time and belief in yourself, in love, in beauty, but that journey is worth it too.

Time

Time is an amazing healer, though its' speed can be faster than I ever thought possible. It seemed pretty darn slow at the time, though 8)

I just read different posts of this blog, going back to the beginning.  Dear reader, if you have been with me from earlier on, you probably saw a young woman in a great deal of emotional pain. I hope you saw hope and her desire to continue forward. I love this about the girl who writes these words. Changing and becoming better and evolving into a better person is an ever-present desire for me. The pain I still work through can be overwhelming, but it's so much easier. Some days are completely harder than others... The secret I now realize, everyone has bad days... I am so hard on myself sometimes...

It's ok that I am a bit late to grow, I'm just thankful I am growing.

I have forgotten how freeing and wonderful blogging can be... It's a good way to get some thoughts out, and for that I am glad 8)

I have also forgotten how important music is to me! As I listen to 'Homeward Bound' by Simon and Garfunkel, my heart is transported somewhere else. There is beauty in that. 8)

It's so beautiful when I see Spirit helping me stitch my life together, my heart, my thoughts.

Sometimes, when my medical issues prevent simple mobility, I think of God carrying me and holding me and helping me through each moment. Something that something simple is so healing to me. It gives me hope and makes me feel loved. And I know I am very loved 8)

An amazing song about autism

My 2 oldest sons have autism. They were diagnosed at 2 and I felt so guilty. Some family members even asked me what I did wrong, but most extended family members just avoided me. I was not at a very good place, coping wise, so it was not an easy time. It's easy to blame myself sometimes. I feel like I could have done so much more. 

The other day, I was reading about Allison Moorer's son and the song she wrote about Autism called, "Mama let the wolf in". This song really spoke to me, it gives words to the tangled emotions I feel about autism sometimes. My boys are amazing and work so hard to be who they are. I am so blessed to have them 8)

Mama Let the Wolf In

Written by Allison Moorer and Jeffrey Steele. Produced by Kenny Greenberg. Released by Entertainment One U.S. in March, 2015.

Baby I’m sorry, I didn’t see him coming
He was just around the corner, now he’s got us running’
We could hide in a closet, But I know he’s gonna find us
Cause I’ll forget to lock it and shut out the beast behind us

Mama let the wolf in, mama let the wolf in, Mama let the wolf in
Oh no, oh no

But little bit of bad luck, lord knows we didn’t want it
A little bitty short straw had our names written on it
He coulda gone next door to pillage and plunder
But he don’t ask permission, big bad mother fucker

Mama let the wolf in, mama let the wolf in, Mama let the wolf in
Oh no, oh no

Run baby run baby run bay run away
You’re the one he’s got and I’d do anything to take his place
I shot a silver bullet but now there’s nothing to do but pray
Pray pray pray pray pray

Cause, Mama let the wolf in, mama let the wolf in, Mama let the wolf in
Oh, Mama let the wolf in, mama let the wolf in, Mama let the wolf in
Oh no, oh no

Oh, baby I’m sorry,
Oh, baby I’m sorry,
Oh, baby I’m sorry,
Oh-no.

Checking in, Anne Lamott, and a healthy reminder 8D

My husband and I are working more adamantly on our health and our health blog.

Please feel free to visit us over at

http://ahealthierwe.blogspot.com/

It's time to change. I have to be more serious about my health and Dave is feeling the same, so it's a bit easier to go on this journey together.

It's been quite some time since I have blogged regularly here... In a lot of ways, that makes me sad. I miss this. I miss typing all of my little thoughts... Most of my postings have made it into my private diary as of late... But this part of it is important too.

Healing and learning is always a part of my life. Sometimes, it may seem I am growing less than others, but it seems there's always something I am working on.

I have had some setbacks. With epilepsy, I am a different person now. I have to relearn some fairly simple coping techniques, but in a way, life is always a place to learn. We get better, and sometimes we learn and relearn, and every time, there is a purpose.

One writer who fills my heart with reality, hope, and laughter is Anne Lamott. She amazes me. She strengthens me with her honesty. I have read books now and then of hers for the last 13 years or so. Books find me here and there... And somehow I forget about meaningful books, but it's a cycle, I think. Books come to us when it's time... My way of picking out books is as follows. If I'm needing a self help book or encouragement, I pray, and the right book just seems to pop into my head or I am lead to it. A very beautiful thing... 8D.

Here is a beautiful article to just show you a bit of what she shares.

http://www.salon.com/2015/04/10/anne_lamott_shares_all_that_she_knows_everyone_is_screwed_up_broken_clingy_and_scared/

I am still working on feeling better, and unfortunately I am unable to work outside of the home at this time. I am very sad about this, but life does change and I am working on making the best of it. I am spending a lot of time with my children and I have missed that so much. I try to find the good in everything, it just takes me awhile sometimes 8)

Thinking out Loud by Ed Sheeran

A friend posted the lyrics of this song on facebook and I cried... I love this song. the first two lines mean the world to me... Not really familiar with many Ed Sheeran songs (i know who he is, but couldn't tell you the songs he sings...) This song means so much. We are human. My left leg is very picky. It likes to work when it feels like it 8D. Just a lot of weakness on my left side and that makes walking a tough endeavor at times... It's hard, hard to be more dependant, to change so much in routine and to work that much harder to stay positive. There is so much beauty in being open as we walk our journeys... And allowing those to carry us when we need it 8) Life is good 8D

"Thinking Out Loud"

When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And, darling, I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And, baby, my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Well, me—I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am

So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

When my hair's all but gone and my memory fades
And the crowds don't remember my name
When my hands don't play the strings the same way
I know you will still love me the same

'Cause honey your soul could never grow old, it's evergreen
And, baby, your smile's forever in my mind and memory
I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe it's all part of a plan
Well, I'll just keep on making the same mistakes
Hoping that you'll understand

But, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
Thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are

So, baby, now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Oh, darling, place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are
Oh, baby, we found love right where we are
And we found love right where we are

Yaaaawn

I am sleepy... Unfortunately, I have an upper respiratory thing again (again, ugh), so therefore I'm awake... Coughing quite a bit, but at least I'm getting exercise 8D. Throwing a lot of remidies at it, and hopefully I will feel better soon... Hopefully, it doesn't take over everyone in the household.

Besides being sleep deprived, I know there is so much to be thankful for. As so much pain and evil bombards us, I feel there is so much good, so much love, so much kindness. There is peace in that 8D.

I have so many craft projects still on my radar. Oh my goodness, so many... It's rather sad, I am much slower at crocheting and knitting. my left hand is so weak sometimes, so it lacks strength to do crafts for very long... I enjoy what I can do, as long as I don't worry about my long list...

To all who are reading this, I'm sending love and light your way. I hope all is well. I hope all will be well. Be well.