Dressing up

So it's been so long since I've had any interest in dressing up for Halloween. For the first time in a very long time, i work at a place that encourages this, so i thought it would be fun.

We had a costume contest as well. I wasn't planning on entering, but I did. I can be pretty shy in front of 200 people, but it was actually quite fun.

With the help of some friends (ty again Jay and Matt) to give me the pieces i was lacking, I made a pretty good Hermoine Granger.

This made me realize how much more out-spoken and unafraid I am these days. In a way, I used to be like this quite some time ago. I'm less afraid of pleasing people, and in that comes a new-found freedom.

It was pretty funny. I was actually wearing a Hufflepuff robe and some IT guys caught it. They forgave me, and that's a good thing too, in case i need any help with the new upgrade 80D

I didn't win the costume contest. There was a pretty believable Hannah Montana, but it was a great deal of fun 80D

The Mirage

I Had yet another huge epiphany yesterday. I let people only so close. I think many people might think they know me very well, but in part, that's a mirage. I am just starting to let people closer to me. This has been true these past few months. I want to let people in. Though they may hurt me, feeling is so worth it. I know i've touched on my lack of feeling in other blogs, but this brings it home. I am ready to let those who I trust in. That being said, it's imperative that i know that it's okay not to let everyone in. There have been a few people that I have allowed close, and please know that you have helped me in opening up. There's the occasional person that i cannot fool with my mirage, and I am thankful, because that is in essence one reason why I had this realization.

I think the mirage has a lot to do with the fact that I've been doing this for years, and it's become easy. Not knowing who i was also feeds into this. Knowing who I am and understanding me is so empowering.

It brings me to the Pink song "Love Song". Yet again, this song just hits me...

I would rather bleed with cuts of love than live without any scars.

I am to the point that I can say that with complete certainty and it feels amazing!