Fathers Day

I've had some rough Father's days in my time... My father died 16 years ago, just days after my second son was born. The pain for anyone is insurmountable... In ways, it broke me. I had such a brittle emotional foundation, that's taken years to build... and constantly still 8). It's hard not to hold onto the pain, which in a sense is my journey, most of our journeys, I think. Fathers day with no one there, just spending it alone can be terrible...

In years that I was single, my older boys usually spent it with their dad. So i would be alone, and sometimes that was good so I could just cry and cry, but sometimes it was just so lonely and I missed them and everyone so much more.

Today it was me and my 7 year old, because my husband's work made him work all day, and they gave the night off to a bunch of non-fathers (don't get me started). Our kiddo and me woke up early to make breakfast, and that was amazingly fun. I wanted to make sure they had some time together on this day. It was harder functioning today than it sometimes is. Just moving one step at a time and being happy and thankful for the time with my youngest was the best course of action 8) And it worked, but i had to fight tears hard today, harder than in awhile. And not the dainty tears, the horrible crying that just won't let up. Ugh. I'm so sad. This too shall pass.

It doesn't always get easier every year with grief, dear friends. It's a moving, ebbing and flowing force around us. We can control how we handle it, but it just comes and goes.

Life will go on and it will be ok. Just one moment at a time 8)

Be well, dear readers! (all 3 of you 8D)