Forgiving revisited

I must come back to the foundational part of forgiveness, and why I am struggling with it. It's strange. Those I love unconditionally or close to are forgiven easily... What is so difficult for me to forgive? Promising to be one way and not measuring up and being apathetic about it. This is something I realize I must face headon. I am realizing that those that make promises that they don't intend to keep don't have a place in my life. If they do, it's minimal. I must forgive them... To forgive does not mean I have to have a casserole with them. It means that I let it go and I have complete peace when thinking about said situation.... I have several situations I am letting go. I need to move on... In most of these cases, I don't want them as an active part in my life. In part, I want an apology... But what has an apology been to me? an absolving of wrong-doing. I know I did things wrong in every situation in which I speak. I have apologized and I would like it to be reciprocated... Why? I have dug deep for this within my heart and soul... I figure that it has to do with self-esteem. I don't feel good enough because they blame me in such a way, to have been the failure in the situation... Some family members are who I speak of as well as other situations... I realize that I am enough and I don't need their blessing, their absolution or their forgiveness. i have God's forgiveness and God's peace and that is enough....

I have my children who mean so much to me.

I have some wonderful friends and some good family members that are so good to us.

And I have a good man in my life that is willing to work through the tough situations... He doesn't run or balk. He helps me fix the mess I've made in parts of my life. We are there for each other and I am so glad to have him in my life. Growing and healing has made me a better girlfriend, mom, person, worker, student, etc. 8D. God is so good...

Sometimes I think God for unanswered prayers...

I am so glad I am with this man... I am glad the last man ran. I am so glad. That, in part, was my wake-up call and I have become better for it and met someone willing to work through it with me.

God is so good 8D

Cranberry sherberty-type goodness

You may notice a trend, but I'm a bit obsessed with cranberries... Well, maybe I'm a lot obsessed. This is the truth, my dad would buy me my own cranberry sauce almost every Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I wouldn't eat it all. We always had the gelatinous can-like mass, and with having to watch my sugar, the amount of carbs in a serving is not doable... So therefore, I keep figuring out my own cranberry recipes. Cranberries themselves are low in carbs, but they are pretty tart. I use Truvia and stevia a great deal in  my cooking, so my cranberry sauce is made with that as the sweetener, and usually halved... I like a bit of tartness in my cranberries. I like understated sweetness most of the time anyway, except for Cadbury eggs. But that is for another time 8D.

I made a cranberry sherbet tonight. I put the cranberries to boil with the sweetener. Let it boil, turned down to a simmer, and let it gel a bit. Blended it with some fake milk and ice. Put in the freezer for about 20 minutes and voila... it was tasty. I ate it all (no one in my household likes cranberries...)

Just a wee update

The semester is almost over (yaaaay). I'm hoping to get some good grades, so I won't spend long here. Just to say that the boys and I are doing well. The boyfriend and family is integrating well thus far. I'm tired at this point. Just sooo much transpiring, but so many blessings 8)