Breathing and Existing

Meditation is a beautiful gift. It is also quite powerful. The amount of hurt and pain I am dealing with and growing from in my past is just amazing. Dealing with the un-named situation is much easier with breathing and peace that fills me up upon meditating.

God wants me to be alive.

I have been thinking about this.

I wasn't supposed to be born. The doctors were quite sure I wouldn't live through delivery, but I did.

So many little things happened throughout my childhood, whether pressed upon me or self-inflicted - I lived.

I have had diabetes for an undisclosed amount of time -- I lived.

I am growing and healing and therefore a better person and a better mom and girlfriend, etc.

I think about the blessings that God gives us and impresses upon each one of us. I am so blessed. We learn so much from Him, whether we realize it or not.

There is a certain degree of peace in that.

I exist because God allows me to.

I must decide whether I want to truly live. I have been living for several years now. I am so glad and I'm living more and enjoying more and more each day.

I am thankful for my family and my friends. I love my boys. The love that surrounds me is so peaceful and healing. I love my boyfriend so much and I never thought I would feel this way. I had given up hope of feeling this way. I love the fact I wake up to someone breathing next to me. That feeling is something intoxicating and healing within me. I thought the love I have found was elusive to me, and yet love is seeping through my once calloused heart.