So I'm really learning so much in this book. The theory is there are five qualities that reflect a willingness to stay in a relationship and to keep working at it even when it would be much easier to quit (ie commitment).
The qualities
1. monogamy (not an issue)
2. well-intentioned -- the willingness to make a relationship work -- I think I have a lot of good intentions, but they occasionally get eclipsed by fear. Some of my expectations of me and in a relationship are getting a makeover though 8)
3. open-ended -- now this is where I get myself into trouble. What they mean by open-ended is being open to the possibility of continuing a relationship indefinitely. -- I get so worked up on actually finding someone and thinking "forever", that I'm putting too much emphasis on this. This is definitely something I will change while I'm working on me.
4. responsibility -- oh yes, another thing I must work on... Also over-promising emotionally on things one can't deliver is irresponsible and I have been irresponsible in both ways.
5. a realistic attitude -- yeah, i need to work on this as well. I dont have realistic expectations of myself or others, which is another thing I'm working on.
So in order to have a healthy relationship, I need to be able to have healthy qualities in all of these areas... The realistic attitude is something i will write on soon, as I'm reading a different book on fear, and I'm reading on how to be gentle with me 8). Yup, another blog will be inevitable 8D.
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