So I'm here and breathing. God is good and I am consciously reminded that happiness is a choice. I made some mistakes recently and I wanted to ponder on them, and how to fix them, since that is vital. I also am blessed to be given the opportunity not to beat myself up too much, and to learn and be blessed with this.

Someone wanted to save me, and I let him try, and needless to say, it didn't work. I was so foolish. I must save myself. Help with saving myself is good, but I must do it. I also realize how important it is that someone can stand up to me. I need that sometimes.

I've been thinking also about forgiveness. I see saying I'm sorry as a healing, as a warm fuzzy blanket that God wraps around us, when we say it. and while that's lovely imagery, I feel that it's flawed. I will explain why. God's salvation, not our constant repentance is what saves us. I've been wrong in this, and I'm actually excited that I get to fix this. I am excited to fix a lot of things within me, because I see who I want to be and I realize it's attainable. I'm almost there. I know I'm amazing, though flawed. I love me and I'm so glad I do.

Thank you my dear friends and family for listening and for being there in any way you can be. I appreciate you in my life, no matter how short your stay.