Tuesday, July 31, 2012

so many thoughts running through my brain... 8) 7/31/2012

I'm working on that list of amends... It's quite extensive at this time... I have been praying to have a contrite spirit and peace in doing so... God is working on my heart at this point in this regard.


My anger and fear has hurt many people. I have been afraid of so much, I have been afraid of any sort of attachment until the last few years, and I have missed so much. The positive way of handling this is to stay in the present. I'm feeling light-hearted and like I can handle so much more each and every day.

I really screwed up in my last relationship... I did something, well several things that I've done before, that I really must change... I tried to change my (then) boyfriend. I should have let him be him and me be me and then we could truly try it. I know it may not have made a difference, but it is something I will be conscious of next time. The song, "Good enough," by Lifehouse comes to mind... I can be a better person and I can learn how to be healthier in every way, i just know it 8)

 i will also be more tolerant in all my dealings with people... It's so important, and with my new coping skills, it's easier 8). I was less afraid this time, one reason i'm working on my fear now... It's been inhibiting my growth way too much. I want to better myself to enjoy my life, to enjoy my kids, to enjoy God... I'm so blessed with people in my life and it's exciting to grow 8)


I'm watching a movie, one of my favorite chick flicks... Lucky Seven. It's all about a neurotic, flawed, yet kind, control-freak woman who has to choose between two men. I looooove this movie. I relate to the girl in ways... 8) (ya think? 8)).



"i need to be with someone who pushes me to be a better person, someone that i can grow with, someone that's my partner." -- Gosh, I love that line... I'm such a romantic...

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