Sad

My heart aches for my friend and her young daughters. He was so young. As I watched my friend hurt,, I kept thinking of all the times I have been told that death and divorce are similar... Death is so much worse...

My sons are being so sweet. Tristan even offered that I could watch Pride and Prejudice... 8D. Wow, that is a sacrifice... We're talking the 6 hour version...

In regards to relationships, J, the most recent boyfriend is out of my life at this time. I know its for the best. He knows what's happening with my friend, and he's not here... I told another exboyfriend and he was all concerned and asking questions, etc. It's ironic that P apologized last week... That's the one from years ago... I say this because the breakup with P and J are similar in ways... And there were times with P that it was obvious he didn't feel he should help, etc... though i was much more needy at the time... Now, my neediness is now and then, but my support system is strong this time... The boys are helping me so much this weekend, my sister is concerned, and I have some friends that are listening to me so that I can be strong for my dear friend...  Also, I have started emailing with someone... and he is listening to me, and helping to cheer me up. That is very kind of him... I realize what I need from J is something he can't or wont give...

From the perspective I'm at now, it's easy to see that P never was really that into me, though I think he once cared to a point... I think I will someday feel the same way about J. and that is good... I hesitate to use the J initial since there are so many ppl that have been and are in my life with the J initial... and some that have the name Jay... but I don't mean my dear friend Jay... She is awesome and she is so helpful... I am so appreciative of that 8D.

My coping skills and meditating skills helped so much in this situation. I am so thankful for these tools, so I can be a more effective friend... and i'll just get better 8D.