little bird and deselfing

I have been wanting to write a blog on Little Bird, but I knew that there would be a tie-in into it... I found one in The Dance of Anger.

Little Bird is a song by Kasey Chambers. She sang it in her encore after she brought her 9 month old daughter out for the encore (soooo sweet, i got a very blurry picture of that) (it was so cute, she (Kasey, not Poet, her daughter, lol) was asking for requests, and she has forgotten many of her songs, as she has had 9 albums, and it was so funny when she kept asking, how does that one start. This one is more recent so she sang more of this one.)

So, without further ado, here is the song, and my commentary will follow.

A ittle bird told me late last nightIf I hold my breath and do everything rightYou might come backIf I color my hair and I wear it downAnd I make you laugh like a circus clownYou might come back
And a little bird said with the wink of an eyeIf I beg real hard and I do not cryYou might come backIf I keep my opinion under my breathAnd I only bring it out when the master saysYou might come back
But I don't want you that badNo, I don't want you that bad
But a little bird told me as plain as dayIf I changed my name and I change my wayYou might come backIf I sell my soul for the greater causeIf I burn my records and I listen to yoursYou might come back
And a little bird said in the middle of a dreamIf I shut my mouth and I don't make a sceneYou might come backIf I crossed my fingers and curl my toesIf I looked liked the other girls, everybody knowsYou might come back
But I don't want you that badNo, I don't want you that badNo, I don't want you that badNo, I don't want you that bad
Well, a little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told me
A little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told me
A little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told meA little bird told me, a little bird told me

Read more: KASEY CHAMBERS - LITTLE BIRD LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/little-bird-lyrics-kasey-chambers.html#ixzz240LyaWIW
Copied from MetroLyrics.com 



There is a major reason that I love this song. I have changed too many times for relationships. Oh my heavens, I could count and count. This last one, I was more like me than ever, but that showed me some major issues that I need to work on. Some of this has to do with my most recent posts, in that I felt that God put any man in my life, and to show my self-worth, I had to prove I could make it work. Oh my heavens, this sounds so silly when I put it in writing. Touching once again on the walk, people might be in our lives for a bit or for a long time. Whether a relationship works or not, this does not define my self worth. Whew, so much pressure is now off of me 8D. 

I had no idea but I was de-selfing... Deselfing according to "the dance of anger" is -- too much of one's self (including one's thoughts, beliefs and ambitions) is negotiable under pressure from the relationship. I will say that my last relationship, i was much better on this, but he didn't really require it... So many of my relationships saw my weakness in this, and used it as much as possible. Honestly, after reading this, I am now truly relieved that the last boyfriend let me go. Let me explain, I care for him still, but this fundamental flaw in me, all of these, really, would have caused such an unhealthy relationship, that we wouldn't have been compatible at all. I'm glad he left early on in this regard, though I do wish that it could have worked out (more like I wish we could have met 6 months from now, etc... or even a few months, as my foundation is already building in such a healthy fashion.) But God knows what he's doing, and he knows why this isn't workable. He also has a beautiful plan for both of us. A tiny bit more on this, I have been putting God in a box for waaaay too long, but that's another blog, i believe. Maybe another series, haha. He has such a beautiful plan, and i have been stuffing different people into where i thought they should go, since i felt my worth was based on a relationship and ultimately a marriage. Wow, how limiting to God's power is that? 

"A wife (or a certain intelligent airhead in many different sorts of relationship journeys) may become increasingly entrenched in the role of the weak, vulnerable, dependent or otherwise dysfunctional partner. Her husband (or other person in the relationship) may deny these qualities in himself. -- The Dance of Anger. 

Now that I'm realizing what dating really truly is, a day by day journey, and I fully can quit any situation, i just need to take control of the situation and be assertive (not aggressive, there is such a difference), im considering lifting my active dating memoratorium. I may post my profile on a dating site again. Just get out there, have fun, and just roll with it. I'm praying about this. There are several reasons why... Part of it is that I'm not waiting for him, in that I'm learning so much about me, but there's still that small part of me that hopes and feels almost like I'm waiting for him. That's not good for either one of us. I'm still praying about this, we shall see what I decide. Not too sure, especially since i will be reeeeally busy in 8 days with school starting for me and the boys. 8D. so excited though it's a bit scary 8D.