i can be very controlling. /sigh... but then it's more of a passive aggressiveness... i don't like that portion of me. Something I'm working on as well.. Meditation is helping with that. we cannot control life and living in the grey and going with the flow is something I am attempting to do better... I'll get there 8)
Something He's scared, she's scared mentioned is the lack of pets that commitmentphobes have... Pets are a commitment... I remember the panic attacks that commenced when I first had Lucy... For me, it was the fear of her death, that she would leave me too... (there's that abandonment fear rearing it's ugly head.) i would love a dog, but I keep finding excuses. the current excuse is actually legitimate, as it's financial... But someday soon, we will get a pet. I want to have one 8)
I'm so indecisive, another commitmentphobe trait. I can't decide whether to like a song or not on pandora radio, because I may like it later... News flash, if i can't like a song or unlike one without a committee in my head, a relationship might be difficult to attain and keep 8) im starting to like and unlike songs now... It's good for me 8D.
This all reminds me of the serenity prayer... I want to know the difference of what I can and cannot change, and God is truly giving me eyes to see that. It will only get better.
I am working on letting go and letting God. It feels so much better and freeing, and so much less confining... It seems like it would be the opposite, as knowing what goes on at all times is supposed to bring me peace... We can't know all the time... There's a beauty in not knowing...
"And I am glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance. I could have missed the pain, but i'da had to miss the dance." -- Garth Brooks.
I love to laugh... The boys and I laugh a lot. We are a great deal more now that I'm happier... It's beautiful... 8D.
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