I have to let him go..If he never comes back, he was never mine to begin with. As hard as it is, as much as I believe in him... He doesn't believe that I can change, that we can make it... I can't believe for the both of us... If it's meant to be, it will happen. But I have to be thankful and let him go so that he can find someone he will stick with and believe in and believe in a relationship through all the muck and mire that every relationship has... It's tough, it's hard, because I love him very much. But I also deserve someone that is willing to love me through the mire and muck... I could have been so much better, but all i can do is be willing to change and be molded into what God wants me to be and where I want to be to grow. I have to build my foundation now so that when God has someone for me ready, I will be ready to build a strong relationship... my foundation was cracked, and a good relationship can't stand on that for long without major repair work 8)... And this is something i want to do for my boys and me...
i am so excited to be the woman I'm becoming... I believe in me, and that's what I need... It's good to find someone who believes in us too in a relationship and someday I will 8). I used to want someone to believe in me, so I didn't have to believe in myself. That is folly... I must believe in myself to have a strong foundation to build from and be willing to believe in the relationship and that we can build something together...Yes, I hope that he changes his mind. I can't change it for him though. I am very thankful for him and his wonderful spirit. He is awesome... I just don't think he knows how awesome yet, but he will someday 8D.
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