The nucleus of it all

The nucleus of all of this, all I have been talking about is self-love... How many I have hurt because I disliked myself. Just how much I disliked myself has hit home to a point today... So much of this quest started because I said something to my son, something I am finding that I thought (and think, though it's diminishing with the exercises) way too much in regards to myself. I had never said it to him previously, but the very fact that it's in my vocabulary, self talk and anything is not acceptable. I'm working on this... I've been so afraid of me and love of any kind, and my children have hurt more than I wish they have. I love them so very much and they teach me every day the kind of mother that I want to be, that I strive to be. I am thankful for that. I am thankful also for the man that I have spoken of, because by leaving, he woke me up too. I am very thankful for the boys' spirit and their kindness and love. I see so much more now in them... They have a happier mommy and they like that too 8).